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Mad Girl Diaries - Straight Jacket Kisses

Timmery E. Turner
Aug 11, 2011
4 min read

My goal is not to constantly inform you all of my rather colorful and scandalous love life. My goal is to inform you of my life in general, but right here and now my unusual love life seems to be on the forefront of my mind and possibly the most entertaining element. With that being said, I’m going to ask you this, have you ever been in love? Most of you will say yes. This is what I’ll ask you next, have you ever been in love with a wildly passionate, Puerto Rican, former boxer with a spark of interest for the unusual and erotic, arranged perfectly with a sick sense of humor that will make you question whether those words actually just fell out of his mouth and arrived in your space, and a brain that only myself and a few close friends as out there and massively open minded as me could live in and feel at home? Any yeses? Maybe a few if you’ve ever been in love with this man that I’ll refer to as, “The Champ”. I won’t reveal his name just yet because if all goes well, I plan on making this man my husband and you’ll learn his identity in due time. The one thing I’m beginning to learn about love and attraction is it tends to hit you when you’re least expecting it. It’s like a semi truck that rams right into you and knocks you over flat on your back, and when you try to get up a force of gravity just pulls you back down to the surface. You can try to run as fast and far away from the invisible force that’s connecting you to the other half of your heart that’s walking outside of you, but it’s impossible to sear the connection. You’re doomed or at least in my case I am.

“Doomed” may be a word that one doesn’t often associate with love, but you’ll understand my choice of words in a minute. On our first date “The Champ” told me things I was pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to be hearing. I left the date feeling bewildered, exhilarated, and unsure of what to do with such information. He spoke of legal issues, current girlfriends, and his infatuation with my small and perky tits. I will spare you the intimate details of the conversation more out of respect for him than the entertainment factor for you. If I were a “normal” chick I would’ve been done right then and there, but not I. I found his unadulterated honesty refreshing and intriguing, which of course lead to a second date. Date number two was nothing lacking of scandal than the first. As we shared an early dinner in a Capitol Hill restaurant he told me entertaining and shocking stories of threesomes, wild nights in Vegas, and his hot tempered youth, with the night concluding with him tongue kissing my arm. Again, unsure of how to process this information, as well as, the molestation of my virgin arm, I was relentless to this man and drawn in even further. At this point beyond, he had me. Though my friends warned me and tried to convince me to cut this one loose, we began spending day after day together even if only for small windows of time. Each time giving me reasons to run, but in turn keeping me wildly entertained, longing for more, and drawing me in deeper into the depths of who he was, which was beautiful, untamed, and imperfect. For a man as unfiltered and wild spirited as he was, he seemed to put a spell of calm over my usual unsettled and spastic nature and state of mind. He made absolutely no sense at all, yet all the sense in the world. Is it possible for two wrongs to make a right? It sure as hell felt like it. Now here I was, “doomed”. There’s that word again. I was doomed because “The Champ” was not mine. Though he claims to not belong to any woman, he certainly was going home to someone other than me. While the shackles on my heart had his named etched on them, he was at the mercy of another woman. Again, a part of the story I will exclude out of respect. Now, before you go painting him something ugly and untrue I will say this, life is complicated and love can prove itself to be even more complicated. We were both unprepared for each other, yet remained entirely open (at times) to what it was we were (are) becoming. Life is certainly not black and white, which makes love a beautiful and wild shade of hot pink. At least the kind of love I’m after. Yes, one makes their own decisions in life, but some decisions of the heart are already imprinted so deeply it’s as if they’re not your own. So leave it without judgment and let it be what it is. “The Champ” and I have yet to discover the true meaning of our relationship and have yet to explore each other on a more intimate and deeper level, but I do know this……I’m tired of writing one paged songs of failed love and broken hearts, I’m ready to write a novel of everlasting love, adventure, and passion. Another thing that I’m beginning to realize is, there’s something damn special about a man who can captivate my mind and soul with threats of throwing me into the back of his van and having his way with me along with a few other guest performers…. With love, Timmery